


Big Dark Love

by dirtygsanchez



Series: Pyramid-Scheme [7]
Category: Gravity Falls, Rick and Morty
Genre: Angst, Fluff, Intimacy, M/M, Sexual Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-12
Updated: 2017-05-12
Packaged: 2018-10-31 01:04:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,439
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10888626
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dirtygsanchez/pseuds/dirtygsanchez
Summary: Pyramid-Scheme SeriesThis a turn-about Roleplay fiction originally written on tumblr between @bill-rick (Bill Cipher now inhabiting a Rick Sanchez body) and @evilgsanchez ('Evil' Rick Sanchez). Through roleplay we have built up a 40 year relationship for the pair and this compiled fiction is essentially the reforming of the Pyramid-Scheme ship (Occurring January 2017).After around a year of forcing themselves to remain simply friends, the levee finally breaks during another one of their arguments. With Evil Rick recently taking a husband and Bill settled with his husband and finally, both have a lot to lose and end up risking it all for each other.((This thread starts as an argument and moves on into a more formalised style mainly because this was ultimately an unplanned interaction.))





	Big Dark Love

**Big Dark Love**

**Bill:** What do you expect me to say?

\---------------------

 **Evil Rick:** What kind of question is that?

\--------------------

What the fuck do you  _mean_  what kind of question is that? What, do you expect me to pine after you forever? What the fuck is that gonna prove? It’s not gonna change  _shit_  that happened and you know it. It’s… It’s  _aimless._

_\-------------------_

Pine for me? Fucking pine for  _me_? Don’t take the fucking piss, you have no idea how that feels, you never did. 

\-------------------

You think I have no fucking idea how that feels? Oh give me a  _break_  Ricky. You’ve either been blind for the last entire decade or you were so wrapped up in your own goddamn victim complex that you chose not to see it. Because you were  _only one_  who got hurt by this, right?  ** _Right?_**

We  _were_  happy. And from the moment I came out of that fucking portal we  _weren’t_  so fucking happy anymore, do you remember that? This goes much farther back than him and you  _know it._

_\------------------_

Victim complex? How fucking dare you, I have to watch you fall in love with someone else and you call it a fucking victim complex… wait NO, not just someone else, another version of ME, do you any idea how fucking hard that is? Of COURSE you don’t because you didn’t give it a moments FUCKING thought. 

You stopped trying, it’s as simple and complex as that, but it’s just fucking WONDERFUL to watch you put up with his shit over and over and over a- fucking-gain. 

I don’t want to talk about this anymore, after all, like you say, it’s  _aimless_.

\-------------------

And what the fuck did you expect  ** _me_**  to fucking do? Not like you didn’t fall in love with someone  _either_  you hurtful piece of shit. What, I’m supposed to sit around and play side bitch? Is  _that_  what you wanted me for? You think being labeled as the fucking  ** _exception_**  was some great goddamn trophy?

Stopped trying?  ** _I stopped fucking trying?_**  Have you even  _looked_  at yourself? I have tried to make it up to you  _countless_  times, from the moment I got out of that wretched piece of shit portal I have tried to make you fucking happy  _again and again and **again.**  _It’s fucking **_impossible_**  to make you happy, and I can  _do_  the impossible.

No. We have to talk about this. And maybe it will be aimless but when we  _don’t_  talk about this it only gets fucking worse.

\-------------------

I made a space for you in my relationship; that was the difference, you didn’t, you cut me the fuck out and then tell me I have a fucking victim complex for seeing it that way. How fucking quick you were to have him move in with you marry you, have children with you, it was desperate Bill, it looked desperate, it  _felt_ desperate. Like it wasn’t enough to tell me it was over, you had to fucking  _prove_  it to everybody else, but most of all…most of all yourself.

You did stop trying. How do I know?

Because I would take you back, THAT is the fucking difference.

\-----------------

Well it  _surely_  didn’t fucking help that you kept acting like you wanted to  ** _kill him_**  every goddamn chance you could for awhile. Call me crazy for thinking you didn’t want to be  _part_  of the relationship, you just wanted to destroy it. It wasn’t out of desperation or whatever the  _fuck_  you wanna think it is. I have nothing to prove to  _anyone._ Shit happens, it took me by surprise as much as it did you and whoever  _else._ I didn’t cut you off from my life, to this fucking  _day_  I’m still protecting you and making up for all of the shit I put you through  ** _decades_**  ago. And why do you think that is? What, you think I do that for  _anyone? **Me?**_

You think… You think I  _wouldn’t take you **back?**_ You’ve gotta be fucking  ** _kidding_**  me, Ricky!

\------------------------- 

I did want to destroy it, of course I fucking did. It KILLS me to see you with him, it still does, why do you think I boycotted the wedding, why do you think I haven’t visited the cabin, why do you think I’ve never met your fucking child? How can any of this be a fucking surprise to you?

I don’t want your protection, I want…

Wait wait wait…what? What the fuck did you just say?

SEE…THIS….THIS is you fucking doing it to me again, selling me false hope, fucking placating me with your sweet little lies. 

There is no way you would risk what you have now to be with me, don’t you dare let me think otherwise, not even for a second. 

\---------------------

Of course it’s not a  _fucking surprise._ I got the goddamn hint, don’t you worry about that.

And what, you don’t think you’d be risking what  _you_  have if you took  _me_  back, is that it? You  **just**  got married and  _now_  after  _months_  we’re having this fucking argument again? You can’t tell me that you wouldn’t be sacrificing something as well. And I  _know_  you wouldn’t risk it either. You love that kid to death, I see it. I’m not the only one with something on the line here, Ricky. You wouldn’t give up the one thing that makes you happy, not for me.  ** _It’s not that damn simple._**

**_\----------------------_ **

Bill, the kid just stormed out after I told you I would take you back, seems to me I already risked it. 

\---------------------

Ricky, you do  _realize_  what you’re saying… You just married that boy, something I  _know_  you wouldn’t give me. I’m married with kids… This is something… We could  _never_ go back from this, you do know that. It’s not an option.

\------------------

So what are you suggesting, we starve this, deny it, lock it up and throw away the key. I tried that, you know I have. 

What would be the alternative, sneaking around behind their backs? You know that would be worse. 

They both lived with it once, they could do it again…or you could just be honest and tell me I’m not worth the risk. 

\----------------------

“Kid they lived with it before we made  _promises_  to them, before we told them that there was no one else… I…”

The demon gave an exasperated sigh, taking a single step forward. “I’d be lying if I said you weren’t worth it, it’s  _never_ that I just… We can’t go behind their backs…  _Locking it up_  obviously didn’t work… We’re running out of options here, Ricky. They’re not gonna share,  _we’re_ not gonna share… So what do we have left? How do we balance this I mean… We love them… And we also have…. _this…_ ”

\---------------------

 _“How many promises have you broken in your life, hmm?”_ He thrust his hands deep into his pockets, not trusting them to remain at liberty as he stepped closer.  _“If you’re anything like me…and you most definitely are, I bet you’ve lost count.”_ He glanced up at Bill, his tone now becoming a little less furious. 

 _“You’re right, there is no way to balance this, no answer that makes sense.”_ He sighed, rubbing his hand across his tightening jaw as he considered it further. _“But come on, I mean when…when have we ever made sense?”_

 _This_ ….and just what the hell was  _this_? _God, w_ hy did it feel so felt good to hear Bill finally admit that there was still a ‘ _this’_.

_“This…just what is this?”_

_\----------------------_

Fuck he was right. He  _hated_  it when he was right. Bill was a liar, a cheater, that’s what he was known for… But to break his promises to his husband, to one of his best friends… Was he capable of that level of betrayal? Well of course he was. But he surely didn’t want to admit it. He surely didn’t want to  _act_  on it.

“This is… This is  _trouble_ , that’s what this is.  _Dangerous._ ” Bill breathed a laugh. He was nervous, he hadn’t  _been_  nervous in a long time. Not like this. “It always has been… Our entire relationship has been built on destruction… Taking everyone down with us. Hasn’t it? And you… me… Well we  _like_  it.”

Cipher looked to the floor, his face but a few inches away from the other as he shook his head. “We’ve changed, gotten older, gotten a lot more  _bitter_  frankly but this… This hasn’t ever really changed, has it? I mean, Christ it survived ten years of separation… I don’t know if there’s any getting rid of it.”

\-------------------

 _“Dangerous trouble…”_  He repeated, unable to hide the small twitch of a worried smile, he had a habit of walking straight into trouble,  _no_ , it wasn’t even as passive as that, he  _created_  it, was  _drawn_  to it like a god damn moth to a flame and that,  _that_  was the fucking problem, for  _both_  of them. 

 _“We do.”_  He agreed, his sombre gaze never leaving Bill’s. He’d avoided this conversation for so long and now that they were in the awful midst of it, he felt eager to hear Bill’s perspective, having spent too much time pondering his own, entirely to his detriment. 

They were so  _close,_  did Bill realise how close they were right now? _Christ_ , he could feel the heat of Bill’s body at this proximity and that wasn’t really helping him keep a clear head.

 _“Some older than others._ ” He quipped, a clear comment on the fact his own lifespan was so much shorter. “ _Forty years Bill, did you really think this would just disappear because it was the sensible and logical thing for it to do.”_

He lifted Bill’s chin so he was no longer staring at the floor,  _“I don’t want to be rid of it, I don’t think I’d understand myself without it.”_

\-----------------------

Bright golden eyes stared back into darkened pools of hazel, searching for something,  _anything_ , some hint that they should back away, that they shouldn’t do this. They  _couldn’t_  do this… Could they? Of course not… And still that smile rendered him with little to no willpower to just say it wasn’t smart, to try to be friends, to just step away. 

But that was always the issue, wasn’t it? Evil Rick had always fueled him,  _encouraged him._ The lit match and the gasoline, that’s exactly what they were.

“I never wanted it to disappear,” he admitted finally. Somehow the statement lifted a weight from his chest and added more all at once. “I just figured… If we tried to will it away, to bury it… It’d be easier on them, on  _us.”_

A hard swallow, another pain burning in his chest. God they were so close, he didn’t  _trust_  himself to be this fucking close to him, he knew what this could lead to. And still he didn’t want to step away. “I just…  _Why?”_ he murmured back. “Why do you still  _want_  me? We make each other so…  _damn_  miserable… We should fucking  _hate_  each other and we… don’t… I don’t want us to hate each other… I couldn’t handle that…” 

\--------------------

It had started as an argument, Evil Rick once again screaming into the void, expecting nothing back,  _blaming_  Bill for an abandonment he’d never quite recovered from, that blame had leaked from him like poison every time they were in each other’s company. But it hadn’t been an abandonment, it had been an  _agreement_ , an agreement that this, whatever  _this_  was, should be extinguished before everyone got burned by it. In the end all he’d managed to accomplish was to set and stoke a new fire, one with kindling made of loss and harsh flames of resentment that despite his efforts would never seem to die.

Bill finally admitting he didn’t want this to end, had turned those flames of resentment into ash but what rose from the burnt embers was far more destructive, they both knew it.

God, Bill looked so troubled, he just wanted to hold him, but to cross the small distance between them, to wrap his arms around him, such a thing could only spell disaster, he lacked the self restraint needed not to press  _closer_ , touch  _further_  and so unable to pull away, he didn’t move at all.

 _“I could never hate you._ ” He admitted, his eyes flickering down to the floor every time Bill’s gaze became too intense.  _“It might have made everything easier if I could.”_  He gave a mirthless laugh.  _“Why do I still want you?”_  He repeated the question, knowing he shouldn’t say, knowing it was a question he’d asked himself a thousand times over.

“Bill,  _I never stopped wanting you.”_

_I never stopped wanting you._

_\---------------------------_

The breath caught in the demon’s throat. Had he….  _really?_  Part of him knew it. Part of him had also felt like he’d lost his light in Evil Rick’s eyes so long ago. He was an almighty entity, energy that left chaos in his wake wherever he went and still… Still he felt like he had something to prove to this man, something to show that he was still just as great as he claimed. Because he couldn’t bear to  _lose_ him.

It was as if all of Cipher’s thoughts came to a crashing, cataclysmic halt. They were so close, hardly an inch between them and somehow it wasn’t close enough. He wanted to embrace him, he  _needed_ to. It was his instinctual response any time the other looked to be in any remote state of distress. A single, branded hand raised to Evil Rick’s face, Bill’s thumb brushing along the rough skin of his cheek for a few moments of silent. He shouldn’t do this. He absolutely, positively,  _should not_  do this. And still he did it anyway.

Warm hands found the back of the other’s neck, pulling Evil Rick into a heavy kiss, rain on all of the heat between them and a sensation he had denied himself for so long, tasting the traces of whiskey and cigarettes mingling on his old friend’s tongue. Each new weight of guilt that landed in the pit of his stomach made him lean in further, bite  _harder,_ until finally, breathlessly, he pulled away, pressing their foreheads together and staring back into the other’s eyes.

“ _I know, Ricky. **I know.”**_

\-----------------------

Even in the darkest times, Bill had never lost his shine and truthfully when it came to his conception of the demon little had changed for Rick since the day they had met in that dark bar so many decades ago; he still had those moments of awe. Sure he’d changed, they both had and as much as it pained him to admit it, they would never have what they once did, but they still had  _this_ , and why couldn’t  _this_ be enough?    

God he was so  _close_ , why did Bill have to be so damn close, he was too weak to pull against that gravity, he’d fought it for too long and that continuing war had taken its toll, he was tired of fighting it, so fucking tired. The warm hand brushing along his skin felt so familiar despite the territory they were entering being so unknown. The unanticipated tenderness caused him to still, his breath hitching as he realised he’d relinquished control of the situation. As Bill’s grip shifted to the nape of his neck, he felt he should protest and protect them both from the fallout that would eventually come from this. He said nothing, completely unable to deny himself, his body moving on autopilot as Bill eased closer, Rick’s head softly tilting, exposing his throat, his invitation, his  _surrender._

It was the most painful kiss he’d ever experienced in his life, it  _hurt_ , it hurt so damn good it made his chest constrict and his head spin, his hands forced to grab onto Bill’s lapels to steady himself. It was no chaste affair, any delicacy quickly lost as a sad rage, stark need and simple forgiveness consumed it utterly, an act of sin and redemption all at once. 

When Bill finally broke it, it felt too soon and Rick could do nothing but lightly pant, his forehead pressed against Bill’s, his knuckles white as he fought the compulsion to push Bill up against the wall and continue. His mouth was saturated with the intimate taste of demon, that familiar smoky sweetness that lingered on his tongue and seduced him back for more, desperate and reckless like a deprived addict. 

 _“I need you to know.”_  He breathed, clearly overwhelmed, clearly still fighting to maintain control over himself.  _“I can’t hide it anymore, I won’t.”_

_\----------------------_

“ _I won’t either, I can’t,”_ he whispered back. The demon’s heart cracked with every word, he knew this would destroy so much, it already  _had._ Everything was going to crash and burn around them and… Jesus was there a point in stopping it? To turn away from this? They couldn’t anymore. They had no choice but to face this. To admit it, at last. To themselves…  _To everyone._

Bill had thought it better to bury all of these feelings once he’d possessed this body, once he came back. He’d started Weirdmageddon  _because_  of their turmoil. And if those feelings were ever let loose he knew he would again. This was  _dangerous._

Warm palms came to clasp around Evil Rick’s cold, white knuckles, eyes still holding the other’s gaze, foreheads still pressed together. “We’re a fucking pair… A messy pair… But we always have been, haven’t we Ricky?”

Was it sick to admit that he’d missed this? Of course it was. All of this had hurt,  _all of it._ When they ended it, when they’d tried to bury it, and even now at this  _reunion_  of sorts it still stung. Neither of them had control over this, had control over each  _other._ Bill had hardly noticed that he was moving forward, step by step, pushing Evil Rick’s back against a wall and pressing a palm flat against the surface.

“There’s no redemption for us now. You know that…? The amount of times we’ve come back to each other but this has never…  _never_  had anything like this on the line.” Did he  _understand?_ Did it fully resonate with him just what they’d possibly be giving up? It did with the demon, and still he was doing this,  _still_  he couldn’t rip himself away. Another kiss planted on his lips, his cheek, his jaw. Fuck he couldn’t  _stop_  kissing him.

“We do this Ricky and we’re stuck with each other for the fucking long haul… You do  _realize_  this… We’ve got no way out of this now. We gotta face whatever comes our way together.

\------------------------------

‘Please, please don’t lie to me.’ The words stuck hard in his throat, he would not allow them air, he pushed down the paranoia, that fear of rejection, that gnawing worry that when the dust settled and Bill went back home, they’d be forced to pretend they’d moved past this. He looked at Bill, searching the demon’s amber eyes for an answer.  _No_ , this was different, it  _felt_  different, he could see it in Bill’s guilty eyes, feel it in his tense grip, the weight of that truth, so heavy for both of them but easier to bear together.  

 _“Always.”_  He whispered back, still utterly captured by the moment, by Bill’s softer tone and warm hands kneading the tension out his knuckles, the comfort finally allowing him to take in a deeper breath. Feeling like this, it wasn’t elation, there was no sense of unburdened joy or excited anticipation, it was the purging of pain,  _cathartic_ , the exorcism of his demons only made possible by being held in the arms of one and only  _this_  one.

 _“I know, of course I know.”_  He replied in hushed tones as he was slowly backed towards the wall, his body going ridged as it met with cold jagged rock.  _“No more hiding.”_   The statement was simple and insistent; I’ll pay the price, you’re  _worth_  it.

There was a moment where everything stopped, a short silence descending, he could hear the sound of his blood in his ears, rumbling and rushing as every part of him reached for the other, that need for re-connection spiking hard. It felt so natural to encourage Bill to push him flat against the wall, to let him take what he wanted and have Bill give him what he needed. Soft lips, sharp bites and words of warning mixed as he coaxed Bill’s leg to rest between his own, a pushing crushing closeness that he’d missed so much it tore the air from his lungs.

 _“I was always in it for the long haul…”_ He half gasped as he returned that barrage of furious touch, those kisses that were growing hungrier and more demanding by the minute _. “I can’t quit you, I never could.”_

\-------------------------

Evil Rick’s lips cooled his burning skin and left yet another weight on his shoulders, leaning into his touch as his fingers clawed at the fabric of the other’s lab coat. He peeled it from his body, allowing the white cloth to drop to the floor and attacking his companion’s neck with new vigour, a trail of kisses and bites that inched from his jawline, down his throat and to his collar bone.

“ _I’m sorry,”_ he whispered against the other’s skin, digging his fingers into the black fabric of Evil Rick’s shirt, tearing through it piece by piece and exposing his flesh to the cold air of the lab. “ _I’m so fucking sorry I lied to you, I’m sorry I cut you out I didn’t mean to cut you out I…”_

His thigh pressed further between his companion’s, the palm that was flat against the wall curling into a fist and slamming against the cold rock. An ache shot through the bones of his arms, relieving some of the emotional weight he felt only for it to come crashing back down. Fuck this was all so  _fucked. “I’m sorry for everything that’s gonna come from this, from trying to hide this…. I am…”_

“ _No more hiding…._ ” he repeated. One last kiss, hot and heavy on Evil Rick’s lips and once it broke blown-out black pupils surrounded by rings of bright red and gold stared back into his gaze. The demon spoke through a series of choked words. He’d held them back for so long, it felt only natural to try to push them down. But he couldn’t. He just… _couldn’t._ “You have to promise me that we’ll face this together.  _Promise me_  you won’t fucking back out on me… Because I don’t know if we can fix this, and if we can’t you’re going to be the  _only one_   _I have left…”_

 Taking another deep breath, his forehead pushed back to the other’s. “ _I can’t quit you either… I love you too damn much.”_ It was therapeutic, to finally say it, to be  _able_ to say it. And still it came with a sense of fear, that it wouldn’t be returned, that the demon’s emotions were still far more extreme than the other’s. 

And so he swallowed, searching the other’s gaze and waiting,  _painfully_ waiting for a response.

\-------------------------

Tight tense fingers made short work of slipping off his lab coat, it hit the floor with a heavy thump; a sound indicating that the pockets were still laden with weaponry; Bill was literally stripping off Rick’s defensive layers. As the cold air hit his skin, his shirt now torn to shreds, despite still being mostly clothed Rick felt utterly naked, no longer wrapped in pretence and denial, stripped of it,  _exposed._

 _“Shhh…”_  He soothed as Bill started to apologise, cupping the demon’s face, reassuring him with a soft smile. _“I know, I know, we both…we both fucked up, I know.”_ With both hands he held Bill’s face, a deep sense of relief flooding him as Bill finally reflected back the feelings he’d gradually come to blame on his own neurosis. For the longest time Evil Rick had thought he’d been the only one still tormented by this, it had felt like unrequited love,  _ached_  like it. “ _We tried our best, our best wasn’t good enough, we can’t starve this, it…it won’t die.”_ His eyes closed once again as he pressed his lips to Bill’s, this kiss somehow less painful and more thickly edged with arousal, beckoning him to reclaim the other. As it broke he witnessed the change in Bill’s expression as it sunk to something far more serious instantly betraying a fear they both shared.  _“I promise.”_  He whispered back maintaining eye contact as he began unbuttoning Bill’s suit jacket to push it from his shoulders.  _“I promise.”_  As it hit the floor he felt Bill’s hot hands on his skin and softened into the touch with a gentle hum.

I love you too damn much.

It had been a long time since Rick had heard those words from Bill, said in anything other than a platonic sense. To hear them now immediately grounded him and settled his soul, he barely cared that such calmness meant they were probably standing in the eye of the storm. Seeing Bill’s face searching his expression, desperate for a response he couldn’t help but lightly laugh, all this time and Bill still didn’t know, still didn’t recognise the fact that had remained unchanged for years _. “I have always loved you, that has never changed, it never will.”_ He moved closer, tracing the tip of his nose across Bill’s cheek, savouring the scent of sweat, fear and arousal, a scent they  _shared_.

 _“I’ve waited months.”_  He whispered in the demon’s ear, pulling at him,  _pawing_ at him. With his fear of rejection obliterated and his value in Bill’s eyes restored, his hesitancy and panic had been pushed back enough to allow his desire to burn.  _“I won’t wait any longer.”_

Undoing Bill’s shirt buttons he pulled the demon to follow him down the corridor, unbuttoning with every step until he was free to smooth his palms up Bill’s intricately decorated chest. Grabbing hold of the demon’s belt buckle he led him straight to the guest bedroom only a few feet away. It was time to rediscover each other while they both had the reckless bravery to do so. The sun had set and Evil Rick was explicitly aware that when daybreak broke they would inevitably have to deal with this mess,  _their_ mess. Regardless of what they would face, one thing remained certain, they would face it  _together._

\---------------------------

**END**

**Author's Note:**

> Following this thread Evil Rick arranging the purchase of a cabin for both he and Bill to use as a hideaway, the next thread in this series "An Emarking" details their first night together in this cabin and the first time they have slept in the same bed since New Orleans some two years prior.


End file.
